Once you reach a certain age or a certain amount of time spent with the same partner, especially as a woman, friends and family will inevitably start asking questions about marriage or even downright pressure you into taking this step. But is getting married such a good idea? I believe not, since, nowadays, at least in the developed countries, it doesn’t bring truly valuable benefits.
Marriage is no longer necessary legally or practically. Once upon a time, for a woman, getting married meant ensuring financial security and gaining access to a variety of legal rights they wouldn’t dream of otherwise. But now, in the modern world, years after the feminist movement has established legal rights for women, we no longer need marriage to get access to certain benefits. Nowadays, women are highly educated and actually constitute the majority of the workforce in the US. Furthermore, we no longer require a marriage license to be allowed to visit our partner in the hospital, and, for a lot of us, getting married doesn’t even imply a tax break.
Marriage does not guarantee fidelity. Many people get married hoping that the sanctity of marriage will reduce the chances of being cheated on. But if your spouse doesn’t respect your relationship and is tempted to cheat, a piece of paper will have no power in preventing infidelity. Actually, it seems that in around half of marriages, one of the spouses will have an extra-marital relation at some point.
There’s no longer a stigma on you if you have a child without getting married. While, in the past, having a child before marriage was terrifying for a woman due to social stigmatization, nowadays, we’ve become considerably more open-minded. Actually, according to a Pew report, even in 2008, over 40 percent of births were to unmarried women – and the number has risen during the last few years. In addition, according to the HHS, a third of children adoptions in the US are by single parents or unmarried couples.
Marriage does not bring security in a relationship. There are too many people deciding to get married for the wrong reason. And one of them is thinking that it will ensure that “until death do us part”. While this may have been true a long time ago, or still is when it comes to very religious persons, marriage doesn’t ensure the security of the relationships in many of the cases. Though the divorce in the US rate has seen ups and downs during the last few years, it is still alarmingly higher compared to what it was a few decades ago. The only thing that will truly bring security is having a strong relationship, based on trust, no matter the legal status.
Love is mysterious and magical, and it should stay that way. And marriage, by definition, is just a contract. The beauty of love is that it is undefined, it is unique to you and your beloved one, and it is continually changing as you grow together. I neither need nor want my love to be defined in legal terms.
Why not? Why shouldn't there be Civil Marriage in Lebanon. This issue was brought up at the end of the presidency era of President Elias El Hrawi almost 10 years ago, and had been devastatingly ruled out, rejected, and severly attacked.
There are more than one reason why there should be Civil Marriage in Lebanon. I can name one so many, and I will:
1- Because it is just ridiculous for those who wish to get married in a civil way, to fly to Cyprus and get married there
2- Because yes, civil marriage is a civil right
3- Because in my opinion it will solve so many problems that we have here in Lebanon
Before point three is explained thoroughly, we should not forget the reason why Civil Marriage was ruled out, out of the question. Unfortunately no logical or valid argument was given concerning why we shouldn't have Civil Marriage in Lebanon. And the only thing that would explain its rejection is financial, and power related to the power positions and sources we have in our religious parties.
Now back to point three, couples from different religions face certain problems when getting married, as they both come from different backgrounds, they will need to agree on one religion to follow which will make the other party (and his/her parents) upset or sad or insecure... Not forgetting which religion to raise their children to. And in addition to the above reason, if more people from different religions blend in together in Lebanon, logically their children will turn out being even more open and secure concerning their own religion (which they choose themselves) and the others'. Therefore the latter will definitely break the ice when it comes to the Lebanese religion related issues, and maybe, for once, religion will be a solution in Lebanon instead of an obstacle and a reason of disagreement.